Pre warning – this post is going to be a pretty senti one. I am a proper home bird and I love my family dearly. We do a lot of traditional stuff that has a lot of sentimental value. Just as I type this intro, I’m already filling up with tears knowing that these traditions have mostly finished for me.
There’s a lot that I miss already and that I will miss about not having Christmas at my home. I still call it home because it still is to me. Sure, I might’ve moved out and got my own lovely little home but I grew up in there. It was all I ever knew so it has a lot of memories and sentimental stuff there. How can I not have such a strong emotional connection to a place where I have millions of happy, wonderful memories? Memories that of course, include Christmas.
I recently did a post about my first Christmas with Kayne. I kept it pretty neutral, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared!
I’m not saying that my Christmas here will be bad or awful, it’s just going to be really different to what I’m used to.
I’ll miss not sitting at the top of the stairs with my brother, waiting to be called down. With our pillows and our ‘end of the bed’ present.
I’ll miss hearing my parents shout us down, and stampeding down the stairs, opening the front door and seeing how very, very blessed we are.
I’m sad, knowing that my every move on Christmas morning isn’t going to be recorded and photographed.
This is a funny one! I’ll miss whacking my brother, calling him a lanky shit (in more recent years, since yano we’re adults now…) and telling him to move over. This is because we would sit on the floor of the front room, with our presents behind us and he always takes up 90% of the bloody floor! *screams internally*
I’ll miss our tradition of putting all the ripped up wrapping paper to one side. Then, chucking it all over my Dad once we’ve all opened our presents. He would then jump out of the paper and scream. It’s absolutely hilarious and we’ve done it for as long as we can remember. Last years verison included my Dad wearing a Chewbacca mask and his lightsaber coming out from the paper!
Going to my Grandparents!
After opening our presents and cleaning up a bit (thanks Dad), we always went round for Christmas dinner. Although, I’m going to be going to my Grandparents again this year regardless, that’s one tradition I dont plan on changing.
The one time a year when Ryan would voluntarily hug me. Again, to some this may seem a bit daft but Ryan has Autism and he never, ever shows his emotions – to me anyway. Like ever. He’s proper soppy with his girlfriend though! He will tell me he loves me once in a blue moon. On a rare occurrence, he’ll tell me I’m the best big sister ever (obviously I am) and on Christmas day, since we were little, was the only day he felt like he could hug me. It really does mean a lot. I’m hoping that he will still want to give me a hug this year but with me not being at home, the usual routine and its dynamic will have shifted dramatically. We will have to see how it goes!
This sounds really… stupid. I guess?
Well, it’s not stupid to me but to some it probably is. It’s my first Christmas without my cat – Cooky. He sadly passed away in March and I’m still not over it. I’ve had him since I was 7/8 and I’m 23 now. I struggle to accept it still that he’s gone. Christmas day morning, I’d go straight to him and open his presents with him. (Yes, Cooky opened his own presents) and he totally knew it was Christmas! So I am really, really sad that this won’t happen anymore.
Just his whole presence in general. His face of disapproval when I put a Santa hat on him, his habit to get in all the boxes and get all territorial over them, the way he would just cuddle up to me when we watched Christmas films and I’d share my snacks with him… Just, everything. Getting a bit emotional as I type this too. Life eh?
I’ll miss seeing the little chortles from my parents as they look at each other after Ryan and I’s reaction to a gift. I’ll miss how they just look at each other saying ‘we did it. without actually saying it. God, the tears are rolling now!
This has started to get pretty soppy and emotional so I’m going to stop here!
I’m very much family based, especially when it comes to Christmas so this post has made me super emotional – sad, happy, crying, laughing. I cannot dealzz.
Is there anything you can relate to? How do you feel about leaving ‘traditions’ behind? Let me know in the comments below!
Check out yesterdays post all about our Christmas Tree!